ADHD and autism diagnosis in girls is still being overlooked, despite the growing conversation around these conditions. For many girls, ADHD or autism goes unrecognized, leading to years of confusion, frustration, and feeling misunderstood. The truth is, the symptoms often present differently in girls than in boys, which makes it harder for them to receive the support they need. In this post, we’ll dive into why girls are often missed in the diagnosis process and what we can do to change that.
The Gender Bias in Diagnosis: ADHD and Autism in Girls Are Still Overlooked
Here’s the thing, ADHD and autism in girls have long been seen as “boys’ issues”. Most of the research and diagnostic criteria have been built around how these conditions present in boys. In the case of ADHD, we’re talking about the classic signs: hyperactivity, impulsiveness, and the loud, fidgety kid who can’t sit still. This behaviour sticks out like a sore thumb, making it easy for teachers, parents, and doctors to spot.
But when it comes to ADHD and autism in girls? Well, it’s a bit of a different story. Girls with ADHD tend to show symptoms like inattention, forgetfulness, and disorganisation. They might get lost in their own thoughts during class or forget that essay they were meant to hand in, but it’s not as obvious. These girls aren’t bouncing off the walls, and they often fly under the radar. Their struggles are dismissed as “laziness” or “lack of effort.” And that’s where the problem starts.
The same goes for autism in girls. In boys, signs are often clear, think repetitive behaviours and difficulties with social interaction. But girls with autism may appear to be socially engaged, even though they feel completely out of place. They might mask their struggles by copying the behaviours they see around them, pretending to fit in. It’s exhausting, but because the signs are subtler, many girls go undiagnosed or unsupported. Sound familiar? Yeah, it’s a bit of a mess.
The Hidden Struggles of Masking: Girls with ADHD and Autism Hide Their True Selves
If you’ve ever felt like you’re wearing a mask that’s slowly suffocating you, you get the idea. Masking is when someone hides their symptoms to fit in, and for many girls with ADHD or autism, it’s part of daily life. They might try to be the perfect student, the perfect friend, or the perfect daughter, even when it feels like it’s eating away at them.
For example, let’s say a girl with ADHD is trying to focus in class. Instead of getting loud or disruptive, she’s quietly staring out of the window, doodling in her notebook, or daydreaming. She’s trying to “keep up” by taking notes, but deep down, it’s like her brain is floating away on a cloud. Girls with autism do the same thing, they might force themselves to attend social events or sit through conversations that feel like an emotional battle. To the outside world, they look like they’re managing just fine, but on the inside, it’s a whole different story.
And here’s the kicker: this constant effort to mask can seriously affect mental health. The pressure to be “normal” can cause anxiety, depression, and a loss of self-esteem. Girls with ADHD or autism often go through life thinking something’s wrong with them when, in reality, they’re just not being understood. It’s the classic case of “Why can’t I just be like everyone else?” Spoiler alert: They don’t need to be like everyone else. They just need the right support.
The Pain of a Late or Missed Diagnosis: Better Late Than Never?
Imagine going through life feeling misunderstood, labelled as lazy or shy, without ever knowing why. That’s the reality for many girls with undiagnosed ADHD or autism. Without a clear diagnosis, these girls are often stuck with a feeling that something’s not quite right but no explanation as to why.
A late diagnosis means no support, no therapy, no coping strategies, no medication that could’ve made life a little easier. School becomes a battleground when girls don’t have a reason for their struggles with focus, organisation, or social interactions. Teachers might assume they’re just not trying hard enough, and classmates may think they’re aloof or uninterested. As a result, these girls feel isolated and misunderstood, trying to meet impossible expectations while comparing themselves to their peers who seem to have everything together.
The Pressure to Conform: Society’s Expectations Are Tougher Than They Look
On top of all that, there’s the pressure to conform. Girls with ADHD or autism are often expected to be neat, organised, and socially graceful – a lot to live up to. These girls may feel like they’re failing because they don’t meet these ‘ideal’ standards, even though they’re trying their best. The societal expectation is real: ‘Why can’t you be more like this?’ But without a proper ADHD and autism diagnosis in girls, they may never understand why they feel different or why fitting in is so challenging.
The pressure to be perfect can leave girls with ADHD or autism feeling like they don’t belong anywhere. The cultural ideal of the “perfect” girl makes it even harder to ask for help. Why? Because if they’re not showing the classic signs of ADHD or autism, they might start thinking that their struggles are their fault. Or worse, thinking they’re just not trying hard enough.
What Needs to Change? It’s Time to Recognise the Signs
It’s time for a serious shift in the way we approach ADHD and autism in girls. Medical professionals and educators need to recognise that these conditions don’t always look the same in girls as they do in boys. The symptoms may be subtler, but that doesn’t make them any less real.
Girls with ADHD might be the ones who forget things. Often they get overwhelmed with too many tasks, or struggle to stay organised. Girls with autism may seem social but feel like they don’t belong. These signs should be recognised and taken seriously. If we raise awareness and understand how these conditions present in girls, we can make sure they’re not left behind.
Conclusion: Let’s Give Girls the Support They Deserve
Girls with ADHD and autism face a unique set of challenges that often go unrecognised. The need to mask, the struggle for a timely diagnosis, and the pressures of societal expectations make their experiences all the more difficult. But by increasing awareness and understanding how these conditions show up in girls, we can ensure that they get the help they need to thrive. And when that happens, they’ll feel empowered to be themselves, no masks required.
Further Reading and Resources:
- National Institute of Mental Health (NIMH) – ADHD Overview
- National Institute of Mental Health (NIMH) – Autism Spectrum Disorder
- Clinic Barcelona – Why is Autism Diagnosed Less in Women
- National Autistic Society – United Kingdom
Please note: While we share information and tips to support your journey, we are not health professionals. Always consult a qualified healthcare provider before making any changes to your wellness routine. Your health is personal, and we’re here to help guide you, not diagnose or treat.
