Self-Advocacy for Neurodivergent Individuals 101: How to Speak Up for Your Needs
Let’s be honest, advocating for yourself can feel a bit like trying to explain quantum physics to a toddler. Add neurodivergence into the mix, and it can sometimes seem downright impossible. But here’s the truth: self-advocacy is a skill, and like any skill, it can be learned (even if it takes a few awkward moments along the way). Whether you’re navigating medical appointments, workplace challenges, or tricky social situations, this guide will help you master the art of self-advocacy for neurodivergent individuals, and, spoiler alert, neurotypical (NT) people might learn a thing or two as well.
Why Is Self-Advocacy So Important?
Advocating for your needs isn’t just about getting what you want; it’s about ensuring you have the tools, accommodations, and support to thrive. For neurodivergent individuals, it’s often the difference between struggling in silence and creating an environment where you can shine. And for NT readers, practicing self-advocacy can help build confidence and empathy.
The Basics of Self-Advocacy for Neurodivergent Individuals
1. Know Thyself
Before you can speak up for your needs, you need to understand them. What triggers you? What helps you stay calm, focused, and productive? Start by keeping a journal or making a list of things that work (and don’t work) for you.
Why it matters: You can’t ask for accommodations if you’re not sure what they are. It’s like walking into a pizza shop and forgetting you’re gluten-free.
2. Do Your Homework
Whether it’s a workplace policy, a school program, or your country’s disability rights laws, knowing the rules gives you an edge. Knowledge is power, and in self-advocacy, it’s your secret weapon.
Pro tip: Find out who to talk to and what forms or processes are involved ahead of time. Bureaucracy loves a good form.
3. Practice Your Pitch
When it’s time to speak up, clarity is key. Be specific about what you need and why it’s important. Instead of “I need more time,” try “I’d like an extra 24 hours to complete tasks so I can ensure my ADHD doesn’t impact the quality of my work.”
Why it works: You’re showing that you’ve thought this through, which makes it harder for anyone to say no.
4. Build a Support Squad
You don’t have to do this alone. Whether it’s a friend who rehearses tough conversations with you or a mentor who helps you navigate tricky situations, having backup makes a world of difference.
Why it’s helpful: They can boost your confidence and remind you that you’re not alone.
Self-Advocacy in Specific Situations
In Medical Settings
- Come prepared with a list of symptoms, questions, and goals.
- Don’t be afraid to ask for a second opinion or say, “I need more time to process this.”
At Work
- Know your rights: Reasonable accommodations are often protected by law.
- Be clear and professional but firm about what you need to succeed.
At school
- Know the process: Some schools might need formal documentation, like a doctor’s note or assessment, to provide accommodations. Not sure what’s required? Ask a teacher or counselor—they’re there to help. Knowing the steps upfront saves time and spares you unnecessary headaches.
- Advocate early: Don’t wait until exams or deadlines are breathing down your neck—set up support as soon as possible. Whether it’s arranging a quiet exam room or scheduling regular check-ins with a mentor, planning ahead means less stress and more success.
In Social Situations
- Politely set boundaries. For example: “I love catching up, but big gatherings are overwhelming for me. Can we do a one-on-one coffee instead?”
Strategies for NT Readers to Build Empathy and Self-Advocacy Skills
For NT individuals, self-advocacy is just as valuable. Plus, understanding how neurodivergent individuals navigate the world can foster greater empathy.
1. Listen Without Judgment
When someone is advocating for their needs, take the time to really hear them.
2. Practice Speaking Up for Yourself
The next time you’re uncomfortable or need help, say so. It’s good practice for bigger challenges.
3. Support ND Peers in Advocacy
If a colleague or friend is struggling to speak up, offer to back them up or help them prepare.
The Humorous Truth About Self-Advocacy
Let’s be real: sometimes self-advocacy means asking your boss for noise-cancelling headphones because your coworker chews like they’re auditioning for a loud snack commercial. Other times, it’s explaining to a doctor that your “anxious brain” isn’t overreacting—it’s just wired differently. Whatever the situation, advocating for your needs is a courageous and empowering act, and you’re allowed to laugh along the way.
Final Thoughts
Self-advocacy is about more than just getting accommodations; it’s about owning your needs and showing the world you deserve respect, understanding, and support. Whether you’re ND or NT, practicing self-advocacy will only make your life (and the lives of those around you) better.
So go on, practice your pitch, build your squad, and remember: it’s okay to advocate for yourself—even if it feels awkward at first.
Join Our Community
Looking for more tips, support, or a place to practice your self-advocacy skills? Join our Herbal Biohacker Forums to share your journey and connect with others who understand what it’s like to navigate the world as a neurodivergent individual.
