Managing Rejection Sensitivity: How to Stop Taking Everything Personally.
Why Does Everything Feel So Personal?
You sent a message. No response. Clearly, your friend hates you, your boss is about to fire you, and your entire existence is crumbling. Sound familiar? Congratulations, you might be dealing with rejection sensitivity, the unofficial sport of many neurodivergent people, where every neutral interaction is a personal attack and overthinking is an Olympic event. Welcome to some hard-needed lessons on managing rejection sensitivity.
Rejection sensitivity isn’t just “being a bit sensitive.” It’s the brain going DEFCON 1 over the smallest perceived slight. Your mate cancels dinner? Betrayal. A colleague forgets to say “good morning”? They despise you. Someone breathes weird? Obviously, they’re plotting your downfall.
But good news: you don’t have to live at the mercy of your brain’s dramatic storytelling. Let’s talk about managing rejection sensitivity, stop assuming everyone secretly hates you, and finally get some peace.
What Actually Is Rejection Sensitivity?
Rejection sensitivity is an intense emotional reaction to perceived criticism, disapproval, or failure, even if it’s not real. It’s most common in ADHD, Autism, and AuDHD brains, which often process emotions at full volume while everyone else is on mute.
It can show up as:
- Instant emotional overreaction. “That email sounded slightly cold. I should resign immediately.”
- People-pleasing at the cost of your own needs. “Sure, I’ll take on that extra work. Who needs sleep?”
- Avoiding social situations just in case rejection happens. “If I don’t go, they can’t reject me.”
- Obsessing over what someone might be thinking. “They saw my message and didn’t reply. I am DEAD to them.”
How to Manage Rejection Sensitivity And Stop it from Running your Life!
Reality-Check Your Thoughts
Not every message delay, cancelled plan, or slight change in tone means you’re about to be exiled. Your brain is interpreting neutral events as catastrophic, but here’s the trick: assume the best, not the worst.
Ask yourself:
- Did they actually reject me, or does my brain just think they did?
- Could they just be busy, tired, or dealing with their own life?
- Would I react this way if someone else told me this situation happened to them?
Most of the time, the answer is they don’t hate you, they’re just dealing with life and maybe… managing rejection sensitivity is the real issue.
Pause Before Reacting
Rejection sensitivity makes it tempting to spiral and react immediately, but try this instead: wait it out.
Before you fire off a dramatic text about feeling abandoned, take a deep breath. Discomfort is not danger. Give it 24 hours before making any conclusions. Spoiler: by then, you’ll probably realise it wasn’t that deep.
Stop Mind-Reading
Unless you’re actually psychic, you don’t know what someone else is thinking. If you catch yourself crafting a whole rejection fantasy in your head, stop and ask yourself:
What’s the evidence?
Not feelings, actual facts. If you have none, you might be making it up.
Not Everyone is Your People (and That’s Okay)
Here’s a wild thought: some people just won’t like you. And that’s normal. If you have ADHD, Autism, or both, you’ve probably spent a lifetime masking, people-pleasing, and trying to be ‘acceptable.’ But listen, you don’t need everyone to like you.
People who like you won’t make you work for it. So if someone genuinely doesn’t like you? That’s their loss. Move on. Spend some time managing rejection sensitivity instead.
Reduce Dopamine Crashes
Rejection sensitivity hits harder when your dopamine is low, which is why rejection can feel physically painful. Keep your brain chemicals stable by:
- Getting sunlight early in the day, even if it means standing outside like a confused houseplant
- Eating protein with breakfast (yes, this is your sign to eat an actual meal in the morning)
- Avoiding sugar crashes because we all know the post-sugar regret spiral is real
- Taking breaks when hyperfocusing, because obsessing over a task until 3am might not be helping
Create a “Rejection Sensitivity Recovery Plan”
If rejection, or perceived rejection, sends you into a tailspin, have a go-to plan ready. Instead of spiralling into a crisis, try one of these:
- Move your body. “This isn’t rejection, it’s just my nervous system freaking out. Let’s walk it off.”
- Journal the actual facts. What happened vs. what your brain thinks happened
- Talk to a trusted friend. “Hey, is this as bad as my brain is telling me it is?”
- Use grounding techniques like the 5-4-3-2-1 method, box breathing, or even just staring at a tree for a while
Build Rejection Sensitivity Resilience
You are stronger than you think, and you can retrain your brain to react differently over time. It’s all about exposure and self-soothing.
- Reframe criticism. “This isn’t personal, it’s just feedback.”
- Practice small rejections. Ask for extra sauce at a restaurant. If they say no, congrats, you survived rejection.
- Celebrate the times you handle things well, because you’re doing better than you think.
Final Thoughts: You’re Not Broken, Your Brain is Just Extra
If rejection sensitivity is kicking your butt, remember this: you are not weak, you are not overreacting, and you are not broken.
Your brain just feels things louder, and that’s okay. The trick is learning to turn down the volume without shutting yourself off completely. Spending more time managing rejection sensitivity instead of reacting.
Rejection will happen. Not everyone will like you. And that’s fine. What matters is how you respond to it, with self-compassion, patience, and a little bit of “Oh well, their loss.”
If you found this helpful, or even just relatable, join our community for more ADHD and neurodivergent life hacks, shared meltdowns, and general survival strategies.
Disclaimer: This blog is for informational purposes only and not a substitute for professional medical advice. Some of the links in this post may be affiliate links, meaning we may earn a small commission at no extra cost to you.
