Here’s the thing: RSD doesn’t just happen in big, dramatic moments. It sneaks up, almost unnoticed, turning the most trivial situations into major emotional storms. What Lorna didn’t realise at the time was that this wasn’t just Chas being difficult; it was his emotional wiring being triggered by something his brain interpreted as rejection. A text message left unanswered? Boom. A late arrival home? Boom. It wasn’t that he wanted to behave this way, but when RSD hits, it feels like your mind is on fire and all you can do is lash out.
The Wake-Up Call
The tipping point came when Lorna, completely fed up, nearly walked out. No big scene, no shouting. She just simply told him that she’d had enough and that she wass leaving. She did leave, but only for a few days. And for the first time, Chas was left alone with his thoughts. You know, the kind of thoughts that tell you you’ve completely messed up and might lose everything. He realised something had to change. His emotional regulation was all over the place, and he needed to get a handle on it before it was too late.
Chas had tried medication in the past. And like many others like him, he hated it. The jitteriness, the sleeplessness, and that constant buzzing feeling made him feel like he was running on an endless supply of Red Bull. So, he decided to try something else, something more natural. And that’s where his journey began.
The Power of Mindfulness: The Game-Changer
The hard part was acceptance. Understanding what’s going on and how it manifests. Chas started reading about mindfulness and how it could help him with his emotional regulation. The more he researched, the more he realised that mindfulness wasn’t some kind of fluffy, “sit in a quiet room and meditate for hours” deal. It was practical. It was real. And crucially, it helped manage those emotional moments before they spiralled out of control. Coping with RSD was something he decided himself to work on.
At first, mindfulness felt a bit meh. Like trying to wrangle a toddler with a sugar rush. His mind wandered, his thoughts raced, and sitting still felt like an Olympic event. But he stuck with it, bit by bit, and started noticing small shifts. When he felt an RSD flare-up coming on, he’d take a moment to breathe. Just breathe. Something so simple, yet incredibly powerful. Chas started asking himself: “Is this feeling real, or am I just imagining the worst-case scenario?” It wasn’t easy, but with time, he found the space to choose how he reacted, rather than simply reacting on autopilot.
Other Therapies That Helped Chas
Mindfulness was a huge breakthrough, but Chas wasn’t about to stop there. He knew coping with RSD was complicated, and he quickly discovered he’d need several tools to manage it. So, he started exploring other therapies that could complement his efforts.
- CBT (Cognitive Behavioural Therapy): Chas decided to give CBT a go. The aim? To uncover and challenge those deeply embedded thought patterns that triggered his RSD. Instead of thinking “everyone’s out to get me,” he learned to ask: “Is there another way to look at this?” It didn’t happen overnight, but over time, he found it easier to reframe his thinking and avoid spiralling into negativity.
- Breathing Exercises: Chas made deep breathing a daily practice. Whenever he felt the RSD creeping in, he’d take five slow breaths, focusing on each inhale and exhale. It was like pressing the “pause” button in his mind, giving him time to think before reacting. The results were subtle at first but noticeable. And soon, the outbursts started becoming fewer and far between.
- Exercise and Physical Activity: Chas had always enjoyed the gym, but he realised it wasn’t just about lifting weights. Physical activity was essential for emotional well-being. Regular exercise helped Chas release built-up tension and regulate his emotions, especially when life got overwhelming. Plus, he finally found a way to burn off all that excess energy instead of bottling it up inside.
- Dietary Changes: Chas had been known to snack on junk food in times of stress. But once he started looking at his diet carefully, he noticed a huge difference. He swapped processed snacks for nutrient-dense foods like leafy greens, fish, and magnesium-rich nuts. His energy levels stabilised, and he felt more balanced overall. It wasn’t a magic fix, but every small step made a difference.
The Results: Real, Lasting Change
A few months into his wellness journey, Chas was almost unrecognisable. Instead of lashing out, he was communicating more calmly with Lorna. Instead of spinning into an emotional frenzy at the slightest sign of rejection, he could stop, breathe, and process his feelings. It wasn’t about suppressing his emotions; it was about learning how to deal with them in a healthier way.
Lorna noticed the change too. The atmosphere at home felt calmer, and they were able to have more productive conversations. The constant stress that had characterised their relationship faded, and with it, Chas began to rebuild the trust he had lost. It wasn’t perfect, but it was progress. And this was enough for Lorna to stick around.
What You Can Do If You or a Loved One Struggles with RSD
If you’re dealing with RSD, whether personally or as a partner, don’t lose hope. It’s not easy, but it’s absolutely possible to find emotional balance. Here’s what you can do:
- Start with mindfulness: Even just five minutes a day of mindful breathing can help you start managing those emotional spikes.
- Try therapy: CBT is an excellent way to work through the thought patterns that feed into RSD. If mindfulness doesn’t feel right for you, therapy might be a more structured approach.
- Focus on self-care: Make time for physical activity, healthy eating, and rest. They are the foundation for emotional stability.
- Open up about RSD: If you’re the partner, be patient. If you’re the one experiencing RSD, talk to your loved ones. The more they understand, the easier it will be for them to support you.
Final Thoughts: Healing Is a Journey, Not a Race
Chas’s journey wasn’t quick or easy, but the results were real. By embracing mindfulness, therapy, exercise, and dietary changes, he was able to manage his RSD without medication. And most importantly, he started rebuilding the most important thing: his relationship with Lorna.
Coping with RSD isn’t easy. If you’re struggling with RSD, remember that healing takes time. There’s no magic fix. But with patience, self-compassion, and the right tools, it’s entirely possible to reclaim your emotional balance and live a more peaceful life.
Please note: While we share information and tips to support your journey, we are not health professionals. Always consult a qualified healthcare provider before making any changes to your wellness routine. Your health is personal, and we’re here to help guide you, not diagnose or treat.
